yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
