omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
