kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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