Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
