normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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