Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
