Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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