well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
