The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
