Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
