Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
he shaved USA in his pubs
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
