There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
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