so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
It's just like the Real World with babies
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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