This is not my ceiling
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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