she was so not down for the gang bang
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
