How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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