I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
