so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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