At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
