i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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