I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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