Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
