Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
