The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
