My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
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