We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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