i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Randomize
