So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
