We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
