i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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