So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Girls should come with a carfax report
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
