we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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