Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
