I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
