im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
