You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
