u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
