Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
