Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
it's like heaven, but drunker
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
