I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
