girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
