There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So gin and wine won't be happening again
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
