I must be too annoying 4 u.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
