Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
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