matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just want nice things and good sex
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
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