Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
