i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
