Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
