Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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