don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
