Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
